I have never been a very reflective person. Tara either. We are bad with family pictures, scrapbooks, kid videos and more. The good side of this is that we are always looking forward, planning and purposeful in our steps. The bad side is that we don’t appreciate what we have and savor the good things of life.
Since February, I have been remembering much more through blogging. And I like it. It has been a treat for me to live in that world for a while. But over time I am being drawn back to what is more innate. That is looking forward. And once again missing out on the joys and benefits of reflection.
We sat in Dr. Bible’s office yesterday while he and a new oncology fellow spat out their medical jargon about what has gone on. It was like they forgot we were there and spoke in their own language for a brief moment. They spoke things like “The small left pleural effusion and mild associated pleural nodularity have resolved, including the left anterior pleural nodule. The small pericarial effusion present 1/29/2013 has decreased. Anterior mediastinal, left supraclavicular, and bilateral internal mammary lymphadenopathy has resolved.” And it went on and on.
Somehow we understood all that was said. It was like they were speaking clearly the miracles of God and we knew it. The short version of the findings; the CA125 is undetectable, the pockets of fluid are decreasing in all areas (around heart, in abdomen), there are no tumors, white and red blood cells are close to normal, there is no numbness in the extremities (which evidently is common with extended chemo), there are no internal problems remaining from the surgery, and this goes on and on.
We don’t pretend to put God in a box to say that the only way he can show his power is through healing. But we believe for the present time, he could be showing his power this way. Far more often his power is shown through unexplainable hope in the midst of trials. Through survival when destruction seems imminent. Through using a situation like this to build faith. He has been doing miracles all along for us.
Yesterday was a great day. It won’t be hard to reflect on that day often. now three more months until the next appointment. There I go looking ahead again.