Tonight we had a great family gathering on our bed. There are bibles on the headboard that are getting more worn every day; journals that we started at the new year (which I am not doing too good at); a Harvard Business Review; a few CDs and seemingly endless clutter. This place seems to be the place where we let our feelings just kind of “plop” out. I think our filter must be broken in there, because when we feel it, we say it. That is not always good but it was tonight.
Tonight we read to our kids the comments people posted on the blog over the last few days. It made us cry a bit (okay, a lot) as we were overwhelmed by the support of people. Most of this support is mottled with scripture and this is one of the reasons we wanted our kids to hear. We want them to know that mom and dad cannot make it without the power of God, shown often through scripture and his people. I am quite certain that one of the ways God intends to use this trial is to lay claim to the lives of our children. We have introduced them to Jesus, but they have to encounter Him and develop a relationship with Him on their own. This journey will likely be pivotal for them. I am excited for that.
The following is a list of things our kids have said over the last few days. Some comically irrelevant. Some deep. Some painful.
1. After Lewis kissed Tara and got a worried look he said “Mommy, is cancer contagious?”
2. When we told our 3 youngest ones last week about mommy’s condition, we asked if they had any questions. One said quickly as if not listening “Can I have a play date this weekend?”
3. “Esther what makes you mad?” “When there is more crying in our house than laughing. Crying makes me think of bad things and laughing, good things.” (I made the promise that I would try to change that.)
4. Lewis said, “Mommy can I pray over you.” and ended his prayer with “…help me to be a godly man. In Jesus name, Amen”
5. “Mommy, I am afraid you will not come home from the hospital.”
6. “Dad, I had a dream that I was talking with God about mom and He said she would be okay.”
7. “Dad, is Elvis the boogie man?” “Why do you ask that?” “Because he boogies.”
This is part of the richness of life I spoke about late last week all bottled up in a handful of words. I have to say that we are blessed to have this opportunity to experience life at this level.
Today we spoke with the surgeons who will be operating on Tara. They plan to open her up on Thursday in a 6-8 hour surgery to remove as much cancer as possible as well as her “goods” and potentially some non-essential organs. They will start chemotherapy as soon as possible after that.
Please pray that Tara get’s rest and that her body is nourished. know that your words of encouragement through our blog are part of what sustains us. We read them regularly. Don’t forget to make us laugh too. We need that in our home.