A few years back we vacationed to Washington, D.C. over spring break. On the way home there were several families we knew on the flights. It was weird to see people from Rochester in D.C. and in Chicago. But we were heading for the same destination, so I guess it made sense.
I don’t know what I expected. When I felt like Tara was okay, I felt freedom to redirect my focus back to how it was before cancer. It was kind of a relief to be honest. I let go of my caretaker role for the first time in about 6 months.
During those 6+ months, I seriously wrestled with the mortality of the situation. It was heavy at times thinking about the path that could be. But Tara didn’t allow herself to go there much. She had a physical battle to fight and that rightfully consumed her.
Now it is different. She is living daily with mortality in mind and I am not. Again this changes the dynamics of our relationship. It has even caused some friction at times, which I think is good. This experience was so different for the two of us and it is shaping us in very different ways.
I don’t wonder how much I love Tara. And I certainly don’t owe the explanation to anyone, except her, and words don’t prove that anyway. But I do wonder how (not if) we will continue to grow in our love. I know God purposed this last 7 months. I suppose the way we will grow together is the way we always have. We’ll keep aiming for the likeness of Christ, and we’ll keep finding ourselves together and in love on the journey. It is just like the flight home from D.C., the common goal destines us to the common journey, which blesses us with an uncommon love.