Reveling in Grace

It was one of those days. I honestly don’t have too many of these but this was a perfect storm. I lost my cool with the kids. I was in the doghouse with the whole family for shooting the cat with a BB gun to prevent it from getting some baby birds (the cat was fine). I yelled at the dog for demanding Tara’s attention ( I think I was jealous).  I had a really crappy attitude with my wife.  And to top it off, I missed the fact, earlier in the day, that it was her birthday.

If I had a white flag I’d have been waving it as I crawled into bed that evening. I didn’t even wait for Tara as I was certain she wouldn’t want to talk to me. I laid there trying to sleep while I listened to her getting ready for bed. As she was near the edge of the bed I mumbled, “Sorry.”  “What?” “Sorry for being liked this.”

Grace has been a concept known to me for many decades. While mercy is not getting what you do deserve, grace is getting what you don’t deserve.  It is unmerited favor, typically by God, because people aren’t very good at it. I have always approached grace with thankfulness, and with my tail between my legs. But this night, Tara stretched my understanding of this beautiful gift.

She said, “It’s okay. I forgive you. You are not meeting my needs as a husband. And I know I’m not meeting yours as your wife.  Why don’t we just enjoy the fact that we get to experience each other’s grace during this season. We extend it to each other.”  Reveling in grace shouldn’t have been a new concept for me, but it was. It was beautiful and so relieving. Understanding God’s grace this way has been a joy to consider. The joy of experiencing grace is really good.

Tara has scans and chemo this week. Having missed the last two weeks, this round is the double dose. Big breath!  We are optimistic and also dreading the discomfort Tara will experience. It will pass, we know. We will certainly get to extend plenty of grace to each other this week. I am more hopeful with that thought.

11 thoughts on “Reveling in Grace

  1. Thank you, Jay, for “keeping it real”. Praying this morning for Tara’s appointments this week. Praying for healing. Praying specifically that during this season you lean in to one another and that grace flows.

  2. GRACE:
    Our love thoughts and prayers for Tara and all of you this week
    😍Aunt Cathy and Uncle Mike.

    Was great to have my sis and Larry here for the 4th!

  3. Jay – Thanks for the update and sharing. I agree thank God for grace. You are all under a lot of pressure and pain so once in a while there will be days like you described (not making them any more pleasant but a fact of life).
    I will continue to be in prayer for all of you, still praying for a miracle.
    Blessings, Sevie

  4. Jay, don’t be too hard on yourself. Your whole family has been through so much and then to have to go through it again…….well I don’t think I would be as understanding as you have been. I continue to pray for your whole family every day. I don’t know what all you need, but God does.
    Hugs and prayers to you all,
    Diane O

  5. Understanding the concept of grace and mercy was new for me, even as an adult. Coming from a Catholic faith, it amazed me and overwhelmed me to feel God’s mercy for the very first time during a Bible study. Thank you for a very concrete story about how He lives through both you and Tara. You have taught me so much.

  6. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound!… It is not easy being human, but Grace will see us through. Tiger Lily hang in there during this difficult week of treatment. Love you sweet lamb!

  7. Hi Jay,

    Thank you for sharing so openly. This post was beautiful.

    We continue to pray for you all,

    Jodie and Chris Hook

    On Sun, Jul 9, 2017 at 10:42 PM, Perspectives From The Tree Tops wrote:

    > 7maiers posted: “It was one of those days. I honestly don’t have too many > of these but this was a perfect storm. I lost my cool with the kids. I was > in the doghouse with the whole family for shooting the cat with a BB gun to > prevent it from getting some baby birds (the ca” >

  8. Thanks Jay for the honest post. You are so right about grace. With all the stress going on it is so cool that you and Tara take the time to talk. Sherri and I were just reminiscing about the night befor her brain surgery. So many people had been around we barely had time to talk.The eve of her surgery we finally had an hour together and we just wept in one another’s arms. Grace has kept us together. You and Tara are in ours prayers.
    Sherri and Mark

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