On March 3, 1992, during my junior year of college, I received a call from my dad saying that my sister was involved in a serious accident with a semi truck. She was being airlifted to a hospital and her life was hanging in the balance. I slumped over and wept. Why did this happen to someone like her? I loved my sister dearly and wished I could take the pain away from her. In my first conversation with her I wept again like I had several times since first hearing from my dad. While I did, she comforted me saying it would be alright.

As we tell our friends about Tara’s cancer, we have watched them consistently weep for us; looking for words to comfort us and often falling short in their own mind. We are humbled to know they love us so much, and at times we find ourself comforting them. Being on this side of the conversation almost seems easier. We are at peace with where God has placed us. And we are not being stoic and brave to say this. It is with fear and trembling that we submit to this course. But we have seen with our own eyes the way He is working and has orchestrated the last 13 years (and longer) to prepare us for this day. I am certain we will look closer in years to come to see that he was preparing us from birth.

This first day at home was great in terms of sleep and being with children. Tara was incredibly tired. On top of the 8 hours of sleep over night she probably got another 4 or 5 hours through the day. This could be catch up from poor hospital sleep or it could be the chemotherapy’s effect. Either way I am thankful for it. The 3 younger kids were at home with us through the day. The 2 older ones will be home soon and will likely crawl in bed for some cuddles, the first in weeks.

Thank you for reading our stories and supporting us with your encouragement and prayers. I hope our stories will cause you to reflect on your own life and learn what we are learning without having to go through this.


11 thoughts on “Mourning

  1. Dear Maiers. You’ve been on our minds and in our prayers all week. This blog is so wonderful to keep up to date. Jay I have to tell you that you are a great writer. God has blessed you with a strong faith to carry you through. You are all such an inspiration. We love you. Peg & Jim

  2. Hi Jay and Tara……….
    I just finished reading your latest post and have tears in my eyes. What you wrote is so true!!! What a blessing you have been ~ and are ~ to so many of us. I have been reading the devotional book, “Jesus Calling” every morning. Yesterday’s message said in part, “Some of the greatest works in my kingdom has been done from sick beds…..” and ended with the verse, “My Strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness” from 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Amp). Praising God for your testimony and continuing to pray for healing and strength………..Hugs!

  3. Glad to hear you are back home. It is the best place to be. Give the children all the loving and hugs you can. They grow up too fast! Best of luck with your chemo treatments. We will be thinking of you and praying for you. Love, Mama Rita & Vince

  4. Praying over that chemotherapy this morning, along with hundreds of others I’m sure. That it will do the very thing it needs to do in order for Tara to be healed. I truly am filled with so much Hope since surgery. Praying for the nausea to stay away too. It’s really “something” to be on your side of the fence…when it’s happening in your life there’s a peace that transcends understanding in believing what God says and trusting in His loving faithfulness. As a very good friend said to me “It’s getting a front seat to what God is doing.” I resonate with the fear and trembling part as well. In this we trust Him. His mercies never fail. Praying for all of you!!

  5. I am so glad to hear that Tara was able to sleep well last night. There truly is nothing like your own familiar bed to encourage that. Rest will help the healing process the most. I’m sure that’s why the Lord required rest on the Sabbath. He knew we would need a day to recuperate and just focus on Him. I’m sad to say I rarely take the entire day to just rest in Him, although I’ve found it a day when He gives me extra strength to do what must be done. I could let myself feel guilty and yet that’s not what He desires. He provided the employment we need to pay our bills and has reminded me that this life is only temporary. I took time to relax and enjoy the company of friends last evening. It was at my boss’s house and she made dinner for us all. We played trivial pursuit and Buzz Word. The Lord made it clear to me that I needed to take times like these and cherish them. We take the ordinary things of life for granted so often. I am sure that you certainly do not take the ordinary things of life for granted – even more so now. I pray strength of body, strength of spirit, laughter, joy and peace for your household. May every moment of every day bring precious memories to cherish forever. May healing and grace be upon you all in Jesus’ name. I love you.

  6. Again Jay thank you for your inspirational message.I am so thankful for Tara being able to be home and getting some MUCH needed sleep! Today at Mass we were reminded of Christ’s humanity and His real trials and temptations.He knows from the inside what it means .He shows us the spiritual means we have to deal with life’s difficult times.Therefore we are never alone. Our priest related this to Lent-A time for spiritual combat. We need discipline and prayer! So again we continue our prayers from CL to our much loved Maier family! Aunt Cathy & Uncle Mike

  7. We so agree with the comment from ghoppe61. We have lived this and still are…only in God’s strength can we stand and be used for HIS Glory because when we are weak then HE is strong… We are praying for you all. Many have asked at Bethel E Free for your address. People that know Tara’s parents. Holly and Ann are praying also. God’s blessings to each of you and your paretns also. Love, Mary and Phil Wood

  8. Dear Tara, Jay & family, We are so thankful you are back home together again. Home is such a comforting place to be and I know yours in filled with much love and care. You are all in our thoughts and prayers many times a day. We continue to lift you up to our heavenly Father.
    “The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms.”
    Deut. 33:27
    Love, Claire, Dan & Will

  9. You and Tara’s strength and trust in The Lord during this trial is admirable. Thank you for your example! Since the day my dad told me about Tara (on Thursday) and I started reading your blog, I’ve been encouraged to love on my kids more and enjoy the simple moments in life. I am praying for you guys! I read this today and thought it might be encouraging: Psalm 94:19 when my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.
    Stephanie (Bohlen) Van Cleave

  10. I read your blog every day with the intention to find out how to encourage and pray for the two of you and end up challenged, encouraged and lifted up myself. By allowing God to work in and through you, the shock waves of His power and His grace are sweeping with praise and renewed trust in The Great I Am.

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