Eight years ago we decided to get away somewhere warm for our anniversary. It was the first time we left our children for more than a day. Tara basked for days in the sun while while I sought shade or the dark, cool, air conditioned room. But together the longing grew to be back home.
As planned, we flew back to Minneapolis and had arranged a shuttle to Rochester. Our flight was slightly behind schedule and after landing, while still on the runway, I called the shuttle to let them know we would still be on time, but just barely. But when we arrived at the shuttle, they told us they had filled our spot. There was now only room for one of us. In my selfish, wanting-desperately-to-be-home state, I may have crossed the line. To make a very long story short, it took a policeman to physically pull me off of the overloaded van, on which I insisted I was going to get home. Tara closed her eyes and gently shook her head in disgust, silently pleaded for me to stop, and wished to disown me for that half of an hour.
Still to this day, Tara and I get Grumpy (capital G intended) when we want to be home but can’t. Home is not just our 4 walls and a roof, it is the 7 of us together under our 4 walls and a roof. It is a safe haven, a place of rest, peace, and venerability. It is the place where children are loved and trained; a wife and mother is loved, cherished and honored; a husband and father is loved and respected. It is a place filled with music; sung and played by both children and parents. It is a place where we now battle fear. It is a place where we have stared death in the face, realizing it has no sting or no bite, and will have no victory. Here, we have experienced the peace of God in the midst of it all. This place is good. This is home.
Today Tara arrived home, again, seven days after her first arrival. Nothing was going to stop her from getting here. Her medical team had set some milestones throughout the last few days that would determine if they would let her go. She barely made it, but this time the seats were still available for the ride home. No policeman could have pulled her out of the shuttle. She was going to be home.
Now we need to make sure she stays hydrated. We have nausea medicine that will be critical to keep her upright. I even have some shots to give her (my first shots ever) and I have no idea what they are for. Tara will try to get to one of Esther’s basketball games tomorrow. It will be hard not to overdo it but therein lies another of my jobs. Please pray that we can keep her out of the hospital. Chemotherapy was postponed yesterday and today because of nausea. It is scheduled now for Tuesday. Hopefully this next dose won’t knock her down again like the first. But if that means it is working, then I guess we’ll take whatever.