There is a pattern that comes with injury. Usually it starts with an accident, typically by a man, but not always. Improper use of knives or power tools have taken their toll on most of our type, including me. And while most men haven’t found themselves in a choke hold, if they had, they would have also yanked their head our with enough force to detach their ear. So I can count that as a common injury as well. And there is much worse which I hope to never experience.
After the accident there is pain. This is when the toughness you pride yourself in suddenly seems senseless. You just want the pain go away and would do anything to stop it. Some men scream “Stop it!”, like my ex-friend did on the high school wrestling mat. Others faint. Some cry or yell profanities. Others jump to their death to avoid more of it. Tough doesn’t matter at that point. Just get rid of the pain. Numb it or something.
After the wound is patched, however bad it may be, the stories begin, and are told over and over, dozens of times, of how the pain was bravely overcome and ……… well the details always seem to get fuzzy. The scar becomes a badge of honor that we men wear proudly.
The details of our story will not get fuzzy to me for a long time. In fact, I’m still trying to figure out what part of the story we are in. I know we have already been cut because I remember the pain. I also know someone must have numbed us because even though we are in the midst of it, we often speak of it without emotion now, as if speaking in third person. People regularly ask, “How are you doing?” As far as we know we are doing okay. That is a hard question to answer. There certainly will be no tales of heroics in this story. And the scar of this wound will be changed lives, and we will wear that as a badge of honor.
Maybe it is peace, rather than numbness. We see healing happening. Daily, Tara is getting stronger, eating better, drinking more, and sleeping…well.. so-so. But we confidently say that God can prove his faithfulness in a number of outcomes, not all involving healing. In fact he IS proving his faithfulness to us daily. But he really doesn’t even need to prove it. God IS faithful. He IS just. He IS everlasting, and the 80 years or so we worry about so much in this life are a flash of time compared to eternity. “Every man dies, but not every man really lives.” said the prophet in Braveheart 4:13.
We are back in the routine of life; me at work, Tara at home, kids in school. Kind of seems normal again, only with scars. This time around we are going to do extra to make it count.