There is a pattern that comes with injury. Usually it starts with an accident, typically by a man, but not always. Improper use of knives or power tools have taken their toll on most of our type, including me. And while most men haven’t found themselves in a choke hold, if they had, they would have also yanked their head our with enough force to detach their ear. So I can count that as a common injury as well. And there is much worse which I hope to never experience.

After the accident there is pain. This is when the toughness you pride yourself in suddenly seems senseless. You just want the pain go away and would do anything to stop it. Some men scream “Stop it!”, like my ex-friend did on the high school wrestling mat. Others faint. Some cry or yell profanities. Others jump to their death to avoid more of it. Tough doesn’t matter at that point. Just get rid of the pain. Numb it or something.

After the wound is patched, however bad it may be, the stories begin, and are told over and over, dozens of times, of how the pain was bravely overcome and ……… well the details always seem to get fuzzy. The scar becomes a badge of honor that we men wear proudly.

The details of our story will not get fuzzy to me for a long time. In fact, I’m still trying to figure out what part of the story we are in. I know we have already been cut because I remember the pain. I also know someone must have numbed us because even though we are in the midst of it, we often speak of it without emotion now, as if speaking in third person. People regularly ask, “How are you doing?” As far as we know we are doing okay. That is a hard question to answer. There certainly will be no tales of heroics in this story. And the scar of this wound will be changed lives, and we will wear that as a badge of honor.

Maybe it is peace, rather than numbness. We see healing happening. Daily, Tara is getting stronger, eating better, drinking more, and sleeping…well.. so-so. But we confidently say that God can prove his faithfulness in a number of outcomes, not all involving healing. In fact he IS proving his faithfulness to us daily. But he really doesn’t even need to prove it. God IS faithful. He IS just. He IS everlasting, and the 80 years or so we worry about so much in this life are a flash of time compared to eternity. “Every man dies, but not every man really lives.” said the prophet in Braveheart 4:13.

We are back in the routine of life; me at work, Tara at home, kids in school. Kind of seems normal again, only with scars. This time around we are going to do extra to make it count.


7 thoughts on “Scars

  1. I love the quote from braveheart. It is so true. I talked about this with my kids last week at school. One of my kids had lost a great-grandmother and wanted to know about death. As Art Linkletter used to say – kids ask the darndest things. It allowed me however to share my own experience with death – grandparents, father, husband and unborn children. I didn’t go into graffic detail, but I shared from a Christian perspective that we are all born to die. The important thing is to have a relationship with the living God – through our Savior Jesus Christ. I have unchurched children in my class who are learning what it means to know God and trust in His love. Everyday we pray for their needs, friends needs, and others that we know are hurting – such as your family. We have several that we pray for who have cancer. I have had children tell me and their parents as well about their children praying for them and others because of what we do at school. It’s so important to teach children to live daily and live well. The best way is to seek a personal relationship with Jesus and ask Him to direct our path. I am learning as much or more from my students as I am teaching them. May we always come as children before our Father and trust in His unfailing mercies. He truly does have a plan for us and it isn’t to harm us. It’s to give us hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 – my favorite verse – especially when Satan comes like a roaring lion trying to frighten me and discourage me. I pray for continued encouragement and healing for Tara and your entire family. God bless you and keep you. I love you.

  2. Jay and Tara,

    You continue to be in our prayers and conversation around the dinner table. We have a few physical scars at our house as well. Marcus and I share the highest number of scars but others have had some stitches and incidents that have produced scars as well. These scars are part of our life story. We are reminded when we run our fingers over them of how The Lord has been our healer and sustainer. We pray in years to come Tara will run her fingers over the scars and remember she is a conquerer in Christ! We love you and cheer you on nightly from our dinner table! Hugs to each of your kids!

  3. Jay, you are missing your calling! The tress might love you, but writing is definitely a gift. As we pray for miracles in your lives, you have become a blessing in our lives. Your insights are truly Godly. Prayers continuing……

  4. Ephesians 1: 17 ” I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you spiritual wisdom and revelation in your growing knowledge of him,
    18 – since the eyes of your heart have been enlightened – so that you may know what is the hope of his calling, what is the wealth of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
    19 and what is the incomparable greatness of his power toward us who believe, as displayed in the exercise of his immense strength.”
    You remain an inspiration to Dave and I, and are witnesses to so many. We are so blessed to hear of the “new normal” and that Tara is back on her feet! We continue to pray for complete healing and praise God for his new mercy and grace every morning.

  5. We are glad you are back to as normal, as you can be. Thinking and praying for you.
    We Love you,


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