Peaking at 30

My oldest daughter keenly observed recently that the popular kids in grade school didn’t find popularity in middle school. I told her to stay tuned. Because the popular kids in middle school won’t all be popular in high school. The same is true from high school to college and from college on. In fact some of the nerdiest high school kids will go on to have the best families, careers and maintain their youthful look.

Our culture has focused on achieving maximum performance by age 17-18. That is the best looking they will be, the best athletically, the most friends they’ll have and more. Tara and I talk often about training our children to peak at 30….or later. That means at 30 years old, they will be the most fit, best looking and most emotionally stable that they have ever been. They won’t look back to their “glory years” in envy of themselves at that age. This is what we hope for.

Tara is peaking at age 41 in many ways. Her heart understands certain truths for the first time. Her soul is more dependent on God than before. And if it weren’t for cancer, her body would be close to peaking. But her body is certainly not in peak form now. It is worn, weary and tired. Her mind, while consumed with other thoughts, is not as clear as it was 4 months ago.

Today was another rough one. The up and down cycle wears on both of us, although we have grown to expect it and are learning to be okay with it. Daily, I feel less competent at comforting Tara. Words like “you are beautiful” or “I love you” are not her love language. She doesn’t care how she looks, and she is quite confident that I love her completely. She is concerned about physical strength. She wants her body back and the ability to do things without becoming exhausted in only a few minutes of exertion. She wants progress now so she peak again at 45 years old. But we need to start somewhere and it has to begin with feeling good enough to be up and active. Not having her stomach in pain daily.

She’ll make it. She may not know it, but I do. She fights hard and won’t quit.


4 thoughts on “Peaking at 30

  1. Tara, I’m all for you (hey- all of us!) peaking at 50!! ha! Resting when your body says rest is it’s way of healing you. God designed us to have rest times and I will be praying for your strength and healing today. “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.” Your only job is to keep nothing between you and The Lord so that the power of the Holy Spirit will heal you. Even though your body is tired, be renewed in your mind every day by The Lord. This is your biggest strength right now dear one. Put on faith and love as your breastplate today and your hope of salvation is your helmet. He died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Amen.

  2. I know she will make it too. I know it.
    Tara and Jay, you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers daily. Thanks for your message of faith, loving the Lord and living a real, genuine life out here in front of all of us. You Maiers are a great inspiration.

  3. So true! Brad turns thirty tomorrow.

    I don’t look back and wish Brad were as he was in middle school, or high school, college, or during his twenties, even though I liked him and loved him then. God has been faithful to work out good and growth in his years. I’m left with a guy, that is one day short of thirty years old, that is wonderful and I think that equals way cool!

    Brad and I have been reading your posts and talk about them. They leave us encouraged and thankful for the ways God is made much of in your family as you live your days during the hard and sweet moments of life.

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