One Hundred

We had lunch together then the appointment with Dr. Bible at 12:15, just as planned. It was 1:30 by the time we were heading to chemotherapy. Tara said I looked fidgety and that I could go. So I took off to take care of some pressing work. This evening we spent at a friend’s house . Four families with 15 combined kids. It was great community, sharing life together.

I am still at a loss for Mother’s Day. I guess I am hoping someone will give me the perfect idea and I won’t have to think of it myself. But that misses the point. It goes back to that same feeling I feel at Christmas, her birthday, our anniversary, etc. Building up to that day, I feel the pressure mounting to get a gift or do something special; then I crumble. I roll over and fail. Wait a minute, she’s not my mother. It should be the kids that do something for Sunday, not me.

In the last 2-3 hours, Tara has started feeling worse. Maybe the chemo? Maybe more fluid in her abdomen? I don’t know. But it is that same feeling she had last week before she had it drained. I didn’t realize until today when I saw the scans, how much fluid was in there. It would really be nice to figure out exactly why that is happening and be able to fix it. In time.

So day 100, I guess, was okay.


5 thoughts on “One Hundred

  1. I love reading these blogs and I needed to let you know or the joy I get when I am able to spend time with the kids and to be included in a family dinner. I bless the lord everyday for bringing you guys into my life. I also wanted to remind you of a day Jay and Lewis included me on was when you had made lunch for all the important women in your life. Lewis called me up on the phone and gave me a very personal heart felt invitation. When I arrived you had a flower and a name tag in front of the plates. God bless you and if the kids would like some beauticontrol products for their mom just let me know or have them give me a call…..

  2. So hard to believe it’s been 100 days. And yet I’m sure for you guys, you’ve felt and lived every long day. And Christ is at your side the same on day 100 as on day 1. Praise be to him.
    Ah, that fluid! Who understood just what our lymph nodes so consistently do for us, and how much we notice when they are gone?! I have often thought of that giant complex that makes up the magnificent Mayo as a huge monument declaring how God has created the intricacies of our bodies to work so well so much of the time. It takes that enormous place, one test and one diagnostic tool at a time, to try to get us back to how God designed us! Truly spectacular!
    And yet, you are still in the thick of things, and so we pray for relief and comfort and rest.
    Sweet rest, dear brother and sister.
    Becca Murray

  3. We are praying for comfort and peace in Tara’s body. We love you all and it breaks our heart to know Tara is still in pain.

    I was blessed to be walking out of Franklin yesterday at the same time the three amigos were and had a lovely chat with them. They were excited it was Friday. One of them told me that I should follow the bus home and come over to play. It was tempting to take them up on this offer! Please let me know if we can take them all on a play date or if they want to go shopping for mom today I can scoot around with them!

  4. Continuing to pray for you and your family. Happy Mother’s Day Tara! You are an awesome mom and an inspiration to your family and others.

  5. I wonder how you end up with the name Dr Bible. It’s cool. Tara & Jay, I know you have a great circle of support. In tree terms, there are the rings that move out from the center and each of us at varying distances from your family center love and pray for you. Daily. To be relational I want to tell you I feel a little worse too. I had a pain & fluid situation that led me to think I might have a blood clot in my leg so I had an ultrasound here in WI. It was negative and it’s not the same as what you’re going through. The part that makes me feel worse is that daily life is overwhelming and tiring. Reality is hard that’s for sure. I literally found myself pep talking inside my head about God’s love. It’s a gift to have a Bible (otherwise where would those promises be learned and imprinted?). Don’t we wish more people saw the Bible’s ability to bring peace? I know you guys wish that too. It’s also a gift to be together with your family. Be present. That’s the best gift.

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