We had lunch together then the appointment with Dr. Bible at 12:15, just as planned. It was 1:30 by the time we were heading to chemotherapy. Tara said I looked fidgety and that I could go. So I took off to take care of some pressing work. This evening we spent at a friend’s house . Four families with 15 combined kids. It was great community, sharing life together.
I am still at a loss for Mother’s Day. I guess I am hoping someone will give me the perfect idea and I won’t have to think of it myself. But that misses the point. It goes back to that same feeling I feel at Christmas, her birthday, our anniversary, etc. Building up to that day, I feel the pressure mounting to get a gift or do something special; then I crumble. I roll over and fail. Wait a minute, she’s not my mother. It should be the kids that do something for Sunday, not me.
In the last 2-3 hours, Tara has started feeling worse. Maybe the chemo? Maybe more fluid in her abdomen? I don’t know. But it is that same feeling she had last week before she had it drained. I didn’t realize until today when I saw the scans, how much fluid was in there. It would really be nice to figure out exactly why that is happening and be able to fix it. In time.
So day 100, I guess, was okay.