1, 2, Skip a Few, 99, 100

Today Tara had appointments at the clinic that she did on her own. Tomorrow she and I will meet with the Oncologist. We get to review her scans from last week and get the numbers from her blood work. As it has been in the last few months, we hope to hear and see encouraging things. If how she feels now is any indicator of the results, I think we’ll be pleased. She’ll wrap up her stay in the clinic with 3 hours of bad drugs pumped into her veins.

But we are so looking forward to time together tomorrow, celebrating our 100th day fighting cancer. We’ll celebrate with an early lunch at our favorite Mexican establishment, then to the clinic for 4 hours, then home to some time with the whole family before heading out to our small group. This actually sounds like a great way to celebrate such a day. Good food, family, friends and fun.

I know God is sustaining us, but I do kind of wonder if He is really doing that much. Because it seems like we are just going like before. What does God’s sustenance feel like? What is the difference whether he does or doesn’t? If he didn’t would we have less effective treatments? I doubt it. If he does will Tara automatically gets healed? No. Does it just mean our attitude is better? Or we have more people supporting us?

Now I am not a person that dwells on the spiritual world, and the flaws of religion are blaring to me. But I do believe in a God who loves us. I believe Jesus lived, died and rose from the dead, and he is the only path to God. And I do believe the Spirit of God daily gives us help and comfort. Through our journey, these things have been reinforced. We have questioned the purpose of life. We have found hope in the face of death. We have become convinced that the words of scripture are true and they have power in the physical world we live in. God’s sustenance is joy in the midst of trials; trusting that he loves us and has a good plan for us.

This is day 99. And God has been faithful to us for the last 99 days like he has for the last 19 years of marriage and 42 years of life.

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3 thoughts on “1, 2, Skip a Few, 99, 100

  1. Amen. Take away any man made ideas about religion and it comes down to faith. Amen. Thanks and so happy for where you guys are at as day 100 arrives. Reminds me of the kindergarten celebration of day 100. When the kids glue 100 noodles onto paper or string 100 things onto a yarn- I’d bet you could make a list (not giving you an assignment, just “dialoging”) of 100 reasons to be thankful as they pump those drugs. Just sayin’. We’re all thankful right along with you both!!!

  2. Praying for tomorrow. Continuing to be thankful for your commitment to this post, Jay. So helpful in keeping me “on task” and focused. Prayer is one of my many weaknesses and your regular postings remind me of my priorities….Tara, you and the family are my priority for now! God’s miraculous blessings for tomorrow.

  3. I was so glad to see Tara last Saturday after I finished working in the nursery. I was glad to hear she was feeling much better. As I read both posts today, including day 100, I was impressed to pray harder again for both of you. You are always on my heart and in my prayers, but today I pray that the doctors would find the reason(s) for the fluid build-up and ways to deal with it. It may well be a side effect of the chemo. Everyone’s body reacts differently. Lord, touch Tara and ease her discomfort. Help her to have the strength she needs to fight the cancer and still live life with her family. Give Jay comfort as he watches Tara suffer at times. It’s so hard to watch those we love struggle. We would rather you laid that pain on us, but it’s not our choice. Be with the children and cause them to draw close to you and be blessings to their parents, as they all walk this road together. Give them all the joy that comes only from you and meet each one of them where they are. We love them Lord and and want your best for their lives. Give the rest of us wisdom to know how to help and when. In Christ’s name, Amen.

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