Today Tara had appointments at the clinic that she did on her own. Tomorrow she and I will meet with the Oncologist. We get to review her scans from last week and get the numbers from her blood work. As it has been in the last few months, we hope to hear and see encouraging things. If how she feels now is any indicator of the results, I think we’ll be pleased. She’ll wrap up her stay in the clinic with 3 hours of bad drugs pumped into her veins.
But we are so looking forward to time together tomorrow, celebrating our 100th day fighting cancer. We’ll celebrate with an early lunch at our favorite Mexican establishment, then to the clinic for 4 hours, then home to some time with the whole family before heading out to our small group. This actually sounds like a great way to celebrate such a day. Good food, family, friends and fun.
I know God is sustaining us, but I do kind of wonder if He is really doing that much. Because it seems like we are just going like before. What does God’s sustenance feel like? What is the difference whether he does or doesn’t? If he didn’t would we have less effective treatments? I doubt it. If he does will Tara automatically gets healed? No. Does it just mean our attitude is better? Or we have more people supporting us?
Now I am not a person that dwells on the spiritual world, and the flaws of religion are blaring to me. But I do believe in a God who loves us. I believe Jesus lived, died and rose from the dead, and he is the only path to God. And I do believe the Spirit of God daily gives us help and comfort. Through our journey, these things have been reinforced. We have questioned the purpose of life. We have found hope in the face of death. We have become convinced that the words of scripture are true and they have power in the physical world we live in. God’s sustenance is joy in the midst of trials; trusting that he loves us and has a good plan for us.
This is day 99. And God has been faithful to us for the last 99 days like he has for the last 19 years of marriage and 42 years of life.