From my first hour class, I heard them talking in the hallway. The Vice Principal and the Security Guard were opening lockers, one by one, trying to find the source. They eventually would. And they would eventually realize it was me. My stomach was getting sick with nerves.
Earlier, minutes before first hour, Kyle and I had this great idea. We would take some hair, and damp paper wrapped in dry paper wrapped in Scotch tape. We cleared the bottom of his locker and hung the smoke bomb from the coat hook and lit it. We didn’t know Jim wasn’t coming to school that day. So it just smoldered and filled the halls with smoke. Other than Kyle and I, only one kid (who we found out later was a rat) knew what we did. We thought just maybe we wouldn’t get caught. But I was sick thinking about it all day.
In 6th hour I remember hearing over the intercom in our classroom, “Please send Kyle to the principal’s office.” I knew we were had. Five minutes later I was called down. Discipline was rightfully heavy. Fire in school is a big deal. And it was almost a relief to be caught. To have the weight of the issue out in the open allowed my conscience to rest.
Openness is freeing. Opposite of the feeling of hiding something, waiting to get caught, openness is the freeing feeling of having nothing to hide. It is that way with my life before God. There is nothing to hide, and no point in trying anyway. The beauty is that I can simply be me, just who I am. I am already caught, charged guilty and set free.
Monday is over. Four on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best day ever. Tara is still weak and slightly discouraged. Work again took more of my time that I wanted. So here we are again. God give us strength to continue. Heal my wife. Protect our family. Help us to look beyond ourselves.