Saturday. Tara has been nauseous most of the day and now is no exception. The chemo must be getting to her. Her abdomen is noticeably swollen. Fluid? Again? Also her left leg is still swollen. Yesterday they checked it out to make sure there was no blood clot. All clear. But still uncomfortable.
I asked Tara if anything was on her heart tonight that I should write about. She said, “I don’t care.” Then after some silence, I thought she had dozed off. But instead she muttered a verse that I looked up, and it dealt with peace. We need peace from God. Peace that it will be okay. Peace that we are right in the middle of his will. Peace that he will work this together for good. And he will.
I keep hoping that we will get through this. But rather I should be thinking how can we function well in it. I hope to be able to look back on this as a hard time in life. But it simply is our life. And that is okay. We cannot wait for things to normalize to make the most of it. This is it. So pray that our outlook stays positive; our focus is on God, not ourselves; and that we can continue to appreciate the little things so we live grateful lives.