Survival Mode

In survival mode, one can do things that he or she could otherwise not do. The limits of pain and endurance are increased. Tolerance for risk in increased. Fear of pain is diminished and that fear is shifted to the fear of failure….to not survive. Think of a situation and play it out in your mind.

But people often don’t realize when it is time to be in survival mode. Or maybe they don’t have what it takes to survive; to hold on to the rope a little bit longer; to hold their breath underwater a few more seconds; to not stop moving when their body is cold.

Some people are more fearful of being offensive to someone than surviving. Like when a stranger is walking by your car and you are afraid to lock the door because the obvious noise it would make would be offensive.

I am amazed to hear of stories where someone’s hand got trapped and they starved to death. Clearly not a survivor. I would either get unstuck or chew my hand off.

What I cannot figure out right now is if I am stuck and I need to chew my hand off, or do I need to hold on a bit longer; hold my breath a few more seconds; and not stop moving. Do I keep ignoring the call to ease? It is telling me to take a break, to slow down at work, to sleep a little extra, and take time for myself. Or do I keep going? Doing the job when its hard. Take care of what needs caring for, even if I get less sleep. But at some point the hand will lose strength to hold on; the breath will give out; the cold will take over the body. The wisdom in it all is to know when that time is near, then retreat.

Tomorrow will tell us a lot. We have a meeting with Dr. Bible around noon. We’ll discuss the next phase. We’ll see the numbers. We’ll gain perspective on the whole situation. Chemo could be done and that will be a relief.

But through it all, we are not miserable, just tired. God is faithful to sustain us. He gives us strength to keep going. He gives us wisdom. He gives us hope and joy. He helps us survive.


8 thoughts on “Survival Mode

  1. My prayers are we are all in this with you and your family. Tara is a great woman…. she has the best heart, the need to be here to help raise your children ( God’s blessings ) , her ultimate is just being herself — believing in the Lord and knowing miracles do happen. The fight is hard , the road is weary, and yet a smile, hug, or a hand in hand shows us that we will not let Cancer rule who we are or own us. We love you all and hope tomorrow goes well. Our love, & prayers.
    aunt DeeDee & Uncle Frank

  2. At Girls of Faith last fall they talked about “you are not a number.” Although they meant weight with girls which is society’s deal, it came to mind after reading this. No matter what the numbers or any of that, it will be certainly good to know but God is still God and you trust Him in all circumstances. Eternal perspective must carry all of us thru every day. That just means to me, that whether you are in survival mode or not you are walking with The Lord trusting in Him because you cannot see what is ahead. It’s an encouragement to all of us to see the peace on your faces- even if it definitely doesn’t always feel peaceful you are radiating God’s love and joy. Thanks so much for the update!

  3. Praying right now @12:15-12:45PM 8-2-2013 for good news with the Drs. Praising God for his sustaining all of us during this storm of our lives. Praising God for the strength he has given you Jay, in this survival mode and your faithfulness to him and your family.. We are so very proud of you and Tara and again are blessed to be given the gift of Tara to be chosen to be our daughter. We give all glory, honor, praise
    To our Lord through all of these (especially) past 6 months as we have. tried to in the past. Romans 8: 28(more than conquerors). Your blogs have kept many informed, encouraged, faith, challenged, maturing and seeking God. Love to you the 7 Maiers.
    Papa and Nana Woods

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