Those of you who know Tara, know how sweet she is. There could not be anyone nicer. She is a woman of faith who loves God and serves people. She is a great mother; a loving and supportive wife; a friend who gives of herself. Her yes is yes and her no is no. She thinks the best of others. She works hard; man does she work hard, keeping the business of our home and teaching our children.
You might be tempted to ask why. Why Tara? Why cancer? For some reason we haven’t felt like asking those questions; until last night. In the discomfort of the night, the questions of doubt came to her for a brief time. Its not like it was the worst pain she has felt; nor the most hopeless news; nor was she just tapped with bad chemo drugs. The feelings just came. It was brief. It was foreign. But it was real. The weariness from nearly 2 months of discomfort accumulated at that point in time. Seeing her body broken and in a weak condition, riddled with blisters from shingles. Its only natural to feel that way, right?
I remembered back to the first few weeks of this journey where our emotions were high and we were newly broken. We knew only one place to turn; Scripture; The Psalms, Romans 8 and more. So I opened the sacred book and I read out loud, like summoning a spirit, but finding it already surrounding us, holding us up and interceding for us. It was like the writer was identifying with our suffering. Words perfectly in synch with our feelings. Peace poured over us. Sleep overtook Tara.
And joy came in the morning. That feeling of relief and freshness. The entire day turned out to be encouraging to Tara. Chemotherapy went great. We shared an early lunch together. And now she is feeling like she wants to get up and do something. Thanks God for refreshment.
When the morning comes on the farthest hill
I will sing His name, I will praise Him still.
When dark trials come and my heart is filled
With the weight of doubt, I will praise Him still.
For the Lord, our God, He is strong to save
From the arms of death, from the deepest grave,
And He gave us life in His perfect will,
And by His good grace, I will praise Him still. – Fernando Ortega