One late Friday night about 7 years ago, I decided to cut my hair. I had been growing it out for 7-8 months, taking on a new look. Now my hair decisions typically aren’t well thought out. It is usually after the clippers are going that I decide which attachment to use. This time I decided not to use an attachment at all; just shave it. The next morning I woke to Esther standing by our door staring at me. I had forgotten about my newly shaved head. And when I sat up to invite her over to cuddle, her cautious look turned to a smile of relief, realizing it was me. She said, “When I saw your head Dad, I thought you were a giant.”
Esther would now be correct, the baldest head laying in our bed IS a giant. She is larger than life when she wears that bald head of hers proudly, using it to start conversations about her story of cancer and faith in God. When she went to school to pick up the kids, two fifth grade girls stared at her. She smiled and engaged them. Time after time people notice her with a glance, then a second, then a prolonged third, as if to say “When I saw your head, I thought you were a giant.” And each time she gently smiles back as if to say, “It is okay to stare, as long as you ask me about my story.”
Tara is having a good week. Although her belly is still accumulating fluid and is slightly uncomfortable, her days have been filled with activity. They are getting back to what they used to be; wake up, get kids up, do bible study, fix breakfast, clean a little, take kids places, pay bills, etc. This is incredibly encouraging in light of where she was just 2-3 months ago. At that time she was doing good just to be upright.
This week, chemotherapy is on Friday. That is the only medical appointment of the week. The drugs are continuing to show effect on her body. She is just now getting over the mild nausea of last Friday’s treatment. Also her eyebrows and eyelashes are falling out. It actually looks kind of cool. She is more of a giant than Esther could have imagined.