Today Tara was discouraged. She had treatment this afternoon. She was poked 5 times because her veins aren’t holding up like they once did and once the medicine pooled down in her hand and swelled it up. They say that rarely happens. Well they also said that about shingles, fluid build up in the abdomen, and more. She is tired of being called “complicated”. Why can’t it just be simple for once.
But we are nearing the end of chemotherapy. It could be that today was the last combo (Carboplatin and Taxol) treatment and that July 5 is the last Taxol treatment. If not July 5, then one more round to July 26. Dr. Bible is still reluctant to say for sure. The balance between giving Tara enough treatment to kill the cancer and not so much that her body fails in other ways is tricky. The cancer numbers are still going in the right direction and the nutrition and organ function numbers are still holding at mediocre.
So we begin the weekend on empty. We need to be filled. We need time with each other, time by ourselves with God, time to sit and read, time to play with the kids, time to do some chores, time to worship, time to fellowship with friends. We need to recharge our souls so we can handle another week.
Recharging is complicated. What works for me won’t for Tara. What worked for me last week, may not work this week. What recharges me may drain the kids. It is a complicated balance that requires honest communication throughout the weekend.
But it will happen. We will make it; mainly because we cannot stop it from coming or going. And we will handle it in stride, one day at a time.