We had some good rest this weekend and a chance this afternoon to just talk about life. The talks usually start after the door gets locked. We lay on the bed; this time with covers still messed up from last night’s sleep. Tara lays on her back, and me on my stomach, feet hanging off the end of the bed, scooting my head close enough to hers where a whisper will do. This is just the pattern. Multiple times we respond to knocks on the door. “What do you need?” It could be anything, from tattling to “Can I have a snack?”
Most days lately have not been like this one. We have been living “regular”, if there is such a thing. We have been going about our business as if nothing is wrong. Tara has been feeling great. This day, though, Tara was down physically so it caused us to pause. And that is not all bad.
We want so bad to be intentional about our lives, but that seems too hard. I don’t know if it is just an excuse, but we talked about simply living in the moment of each day instead of planning so far ahead. There may be things we overlook, but I think we will most easily have peace and joy along the way by doing it this way.
We discussed parenting, and that the most important thing to us is to take our kids on a path that will most likely result in an impacting encounter with Jesus. This could be that path, we pray. We disagreed on some details of this journey, and some tough things were said; and we wrestled with them, finally meeting at a place where we could both land.
Tears always fall in talks like these. Sometimes from feelings of failure and missed opportunity, and other times, from pain. Tears alternate between hers and mine; each at our own time being strong for the other. This kind of intimacy is only found in mutual suffering. It is one of the many blessings of cancer.
So this day will go down as a good one; one we will remember. One that reminded us again that we must wait patiently for the Lord, and he will listen to us and hear our cry. He will bring us out of this trial; out of the muck and mire. And he will set our feet on a rock and make our footing firm. He will put a new song in our mouth, one of praise to our God. And as a result, many will see and fear the Lord and will put their trust in him. – Psalm 40:1-3