It was 13 years ago in May that Tara and I moved to the Rochester area. We moved up here to start our business, based on a market study. We liked it; both as a place to start our business and to raise our family.

Three months earlier we had our first child. And before that both Tara and I were working. So she quit her job and I quit mine and we moved up here. We told the banker we wanted to buy a house. Naturally he asked about our income and I told him we had just quit our jobs and we are starting a business, and “Oh yeah, can I borrow money for that too?” A strong business plan and bank willing to take a risk made it possible to get our start.

Looking back, we see a deeper purpose in it all, how God orchestrated everything. He brought us to a place where Tara could have great care.

Tara has continued to feel better this week. She even mowed the lawn and bought groceries; both times saying she might have overdone it. Really? Tomorrow is an important appointment with the Oncologist. We haven’t done chemo for a few weeks now (due to the infection) and we will get to see what her numbers look like. Hopefully the cancer numbers stayed low and the nutrition numbers got better. We’ll find out.

I can’t wait to see what the next adventure will be for us. I am REALLY getting the itch. Who knows what it will be? But first things first. Lets get Tara healthy. Then we can give something else a try. But it is Tara’s turn to choose this time.

I had my stride down so that I would consistently land within a few inches on a 20 step approach. Achieving top speed at the last step was critical; a short step with a powerful, driving jump. Knee driving through, left leg trailing, hands pressed forward and up. I had to be fully committed to this approach. Any hesitation could be catastrophic.

The energy from the speed of the run and the final explosion transferred into the fiberglass pole. It bent with tremendous potential energy. The trail leg stretched behind until the last second when the pole started to uncoil, at which time my body began to pendulum from its stretched position to a coil of its own. Knees to the chest then instantly past. The momentum was now upward toward the bar. Feet rising above my head and my body becoming inverted. The pole finished its uncoiling with one last thrust, coinciding with my body being pushed upward and turning 90 degrees so that my belly was going over the bar. The final push was with my right hand off of the fully extended pole. One fluid motion from ground to peak height then back down.

All that happened in just a few seconds. It was an exhilarating feeling. Twice my pole broke, giving me serious welts. Twice I missed the mats, once cracking my heel. But each time I came back from the injury. I lived for the rush. The feeling of being thrown. The achievement of new heights. The overcoming of fear. It was all worth the pain of training and the injuries.

That is what life should be like. Risk all for the rush of living well. No hesitation, fully committed. A fluid motion from birth, to the peak height, then back down…. to the grave.

It took a lot of practice to pole vault well. Studying how the great vaulters did it. Training my body to go faster and be precise with each movement. Visualizing success. It will take a lot of work to live well. Studying, training, visualizing.

For Tara, doing well in this trial was not by chance. It was by studying, training and visualizing. None of which she would claim by her own strength or wisdom. One day she hopes to hear, “Well done”. Then she’ll know she lived well.

This long weekend was great. Tara is feeling better. Gaining energy. Tomorrow we have an early appointment to get the drain tube out, hopefully. They are reluctant to pull it too soon, not wanting to put another in if it becomes needed again in time. But they think it has served its purpose and can come out, thank God.

This week we’ll get back into the swing of chemotherapy. Friday, I think. We have missed 2 weeks focusing on the fluid infection. We don’t know what that delay will do to the cancer numbers. It will be interesting to find out.

So we begin a new week. We pray for strength for ourselves but we also look around. We have a friend who is trying to finding a job and whose family has health issues. We have other friends whose child is being treated for cancer. Also a relative, another young mom, who is being treated for breast cancer. Friends have struggled with infertility. Others with children who are making bad decisions. We look around and see that we are not struggling alone. Of course, many people are.

This blog has brought attention to our struggle. It is no more moving than anyone else’s story. But the purpose of this blog goes back to Psalm 40:3 “Many will see and fear the Lord and will put their trust in Him.” It is about making God famous for the things he is doing in our life, just like he is doing in the lives of our friends and others who are struggling. It’s not about him “fixing” us, which he may or may not do. Rather it is about the journey and finding joy and purpose in the midst of it.

In the past few months I have watched my mom suffer a LOT! I can not imagine the pain that she is going through. I have started reading the bible more in the past couple weeks and stumbled upon this verse. It pretty much sums up my mom’s life right now!

“For I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” -Romans 8:18

Glory: Splendor, magnificence, or honor. This is what Webster says of glory. My mom is a super hero; she has suffered every push and shove from this cancer, and she is still caring for our family! Praising God when she’s suffering; this is my mom’s glory!

Sometimes I feel like I’m the one suffering with all of this. I have been disappointed with things like the Disney trip! But then I think, “I am selfish to think I am the one suffering. My mom is suffering, and the glory is being revealed!” This verse has inspired me to live the rest of my life facing its trials head on. When I have struggles in my life I want the glory only attainable through God. When you surrender to his plan for your life and live it to the fullest, this is when the glory will be revealed.

This is Micalyn, and God has been faithful to me.

The movie The Impossible is a love story of sorts. We watched it tonight as a family. The story is about a family that was separated during the tsunami in Thailand in 2004. The father and the 2 younger sons were together and the mother and the oldest son was together. Neither knew the others were okay. In fact both assumed death. The mother was seriously injured and made it to a local hospital with the oldest son. The father was still at the site where they last saw each other and looked under the rubble and everywhere for the other son and the mom. The rest of the story you should see for yourself. It was very moving.

Tara and I hold hands in movies like this and there is typically a squeeze or gentle rub when something in the movie impacts us. A mother nearly drowning trying to save her son. A father crying over his lost wife. A son tending to a dying mother. Reunited families crying for joy. Mourning parents of dead children. Mourning children of dead parents. It is very easy to put ourselves in that situation and feel what they are feeling. There were many hand squeezes and rubs. It reminded us how blessed we are to only be going through this instead of that. It reminds us how much we love the other and depend on each other in life.

I should be tired right now, but instead I am wide awake next to her. We have 2 more full days of the weekend since Monday is a holiday. Tara is on the mend, feeling better and gaining energy again. This week should include removal of the drain tube and returning to the road of chemo. That now seems like the norm that we want to get back to. Weird. Pray for healing for Tara and strength for the entire family.

It was just Monday that we were told not to leave town due to Tara’s infection. It was a big bummer to all of us, but the kids handled the disappointment well. After I told them I tried to play a silly game where each of them had to find a reason they were glad they were not going. It was met with silence. Until Andrean said with a waning frown, “Well at least I won’t miss my field trip to the bowling alley.” Then Lewis said, “Now I can have a birthday party with my friends.” And the tone in the room began to change. Each of them said something they were happy about and the night continued as if nothing happened.

Of course we were concerned that there was more inside that they weren’t expressing, but that is okay, I guess. The next day, a dear friend and her college-aged daughter offered to take the kids to the Mall of America, Nickelodeon Universe, or whatever it is called. We gladly accepted knowing that we could not do that for them. That was today. And the kids loved it. They got to miss school, eat too many sweets, ride rides, and spend time together. It was awesome, so I hear.

Tara had a procedure today at the Clinic to see how the drain tube is working and how much fluid is still inside, I think. I felt like were getting a decent handle on understanding the cancer stuff. But this fluid, infection, bacteria stuff is really foreign to us. We don’t even know the right questions to ask. Tara feels like she is along for the ride. I think the test went good and that things are going the right direction. There is even talk about removing the tube on Tuesday.

I am glad this week is over. It was one of the hardest ones yet as I look back. It was hard to find God in the midst of it. But now we are here. Tara is improving. We have a long weekend to recoup and it feels quite different. We need continued prayers for Tara’s healing, comfort and strength. We need to keep our focus narrow as we move forward. One day at a time. But we need to keep our perspective broad as we look back, seeing the big picture; how Tara is improving from 2 months ago; how God has provided for us; how we are making it.

The weekend begins. Thank God.

We were amigos. Three of us. Dubbed Lucky, Dusty and Ned, after 3 men in the greatest movie of our era. I was Lucky. And ‘amigo honor’ was our sacred vow never to be broken; punishable with a ruthless punch wherever it may strike. It kept our friendship honest.

Only once do I remember amigo honor used when it shouldn’t have been. And it led to trouble. The lyrics of “All My Ex’s Live in Texas” were being discussed and a disagreement arose. Amigo honor was used to stake the claim…..of both of us. And only one of us could be right.

There was no Google back then, so it took some time. But sitting around a campfire playing cards one night, the truck radio started playing the song. Cards in hand, no one acknowledged the song playing in the background. We were eerily silent, as if studying our cards, still playing our hands. The moment was tense and we all knew it. When the lyric that was in question played, I struck Ned with a swift and righteous blow, as was customary for breaking the honor. But Ned, being Ned, swung back and then fists were flying. Enjoying the brawl and laughing, Dusty eventually broke us up. Blood was shed that night, and a friendship deepened. We finished the card game.

It was our attempt at accountability. Friends calling the others’ BS and not tolerating it. That is part of true friendship. Call it “iron sharpening iron”. For the last 20 years Tara has been my primary BS filter. She’ll not take it, and I won’t take hers. Sometimes it is painful even though MOST of the time it is dealt in love. It keeps us living in the world of reality. If I start talking about my perspective on an issue and I am wrong, she’ll not strike a blow like I did to Ned that night, but she won’t tolerate it. She’ll swoop in and call my BS. Like a true friend. Iron sharpening iron.

Lately I haven’t been sharpened as much. I’m getting away with BS that she is not able to correct. I look forward to getting her back in full force. It is in the horizon, not too far away. This day has put us closer to that point.

Just a quick update tonight. I am sitting here in the hospital room with Tara. She is sleeping. I will be too in a few minutes. They have started the antibiotics and are anticipating her release tomorrow (hopefully). She is feeling much better but desperately wants to get home. The hospital is not the most exciting place to be.

Today was Lewis’ birthday. While Tara and I didn’t have big plans, his sisters got him presents (mom and dad will do that later….poor little fella). They loved on him and made him feel like a prince. He will hang out with some friends this weekend to celebrate again. Earlier, he got to spend the afternoon with me while I was working. He wanted so bad to help and even gave one customer advice on her trees while I was talking with her.

So just another day in the life of the Maiers. The one hundred and eleventh day of viewing things from the tree tops.

The summer after eighth grade a friend and I started a window washing business because we knew some people who needed theirs washed. We worked about 10 days over the first month of business. One day someone asked us if we could paint his house. Why not? So we said yes, officially ending “Homeboy’s Window Washing” and welcome “Homeboy’s Painting”.

I remember that first deal. The guy asked us “How much?” We took a minute to walk around, not so much to look at the house, but more like trying to put some perspective to money. We were only a few years past learning how to count money, much less knowing how to value it. So we decided we would each pick a number and split the difference. We had no idea. The spread was wide between my number and his, but we decided on a number which would have been a gold mine for two nearly ninth grade boys. I had the responsibility to tell the customer. When he said “When can you start?” we tried to hold back our laughter. To no avail. We must have looked silly. I am so thankful he hired us. But he must have also been elated to have someone do it for that amount.

I have always loved entrepreneurship. Seeing a need and finding a way to meet the need that is valuable to someone. The entire focus is on people. Their need. Valuable to them. We are made to derive satisfaction from serving others. Business should be built on that premise, and when so, it is typically successful.

I am sitting by Tara’s side in the hospital room. She already looks and feels better. The drain is in. The antibiotics are getting pumped in. I pray this is the course that will give her more energy and strength. We are hopeful. I feel the weight of entrepreneurial responsibility at home. My family has needs and I must serve them in a way that is valuable to them; in the way they need the help. But when I have spent all my energy doing that at work, i am tired and all I want to do is rest. I may try to meet their needs, but in a way that is convenient to me. And it doesn’t work.

The entrepreneur finds a way to stay focused to be successful. So I need to keep digging in my heels at home and save my best efforts for my family. They are the customers that matter most.

In March, we felt a clear answer to a prayer. We were concerned about how our kids were coping with Tara’s illness, and from our knees we prayed, asking God with pure intentions to give us wisdom. Within days, we got a call from a friend who is involved in Inheritance of Hope, an organization that helps families who have a parent with a life-threatening or terminal diagnosis. We were offered a Disney retreat with other families in the same situation. That is what is taking place this weekend. There is counseling for the kids and the parents. Perfect.

Today we learned that Tara’s persistent fevers were from an infection in the fluid pockets in her abdomen. She will need a drain tube installed, which could be permanent; as in the rest of her life. Also she will need intravenous antibiotics. The tube will go in tomorrow morning, the antibiotics will begin Wednesday or Thursday. Florida is out. “No chance!” say the doctors. “Tara’s life would be threatened.”

I was dead wrong about that trip being an answer to prayer. It sure seemed right. I don’t understand. Someone said with good intentions, “You have to ask yourself, ‘What is God trying to teach you?’ ” Tara’s response was, “What do you mean? This isn’t about me.” God is sovereign, meaning that he is right just by being who he is. Who are we to question his plans or motives? He cares deeply about us but he knows our ‘best interest’ has everything to do with him.

We are in tough place right now but we are certain to make it. Time won’t stop for us; we have no choice. The sun will rise tomorrow while the world keeps turning, and then the sun will set, and that is one more day down. It will happen. And we will still be here, and that means we made it, right?

Work keeps going with its ever-present demands. The kids still need us for love, training and encouragement. Tara’s health is becoming more and more complex, with the most life-threatening pieces right now not being cancer. But God is faithful and he will provide for us somehow….again. Maybe it will begin with a glimmer of hope from an encouraging word or a sunny day. Maybe the word of God will speak to us again in a perfect way. Stay tuned, because I am sure it will happen, even though we can’t see any way right now.